copynin: (Default)
Here's a list of posts that I've done with Icons:

Dangan Ronpa (Spoilers)

Various Live Action

Various Video Games

Various Animanga

[sticky entry] Sticky: Video Game list!

Dec. 21st, 2037 04:11 pm
copynin: (annoyed)
Since I won't actually be using this journal for RP anymore, I figured I'll go ahead and use it for other stuff. You guys are just stuck looking at Kakashi's amusing little face anyway.

Today's topic is Video Games. I own waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too many that I haven't beaten.

There's a chart here )

copynin: (black and white)
 I feel bored and lonely. And I've made like five plurks in the last day that haven't gathered any responses, including the people I'm supposed to be talking to to get stuff done for the project we're all "working on together". So I must be boring. 


I say that I feel like a nuisance and everyone flocks to say "Oh, no, you're not."

But I don't have anything important to say. So, I'm boring. And a hinderance. And no one wants to talk to someone like me.

I don't know if this is lack of sleep talking.  All I've done today is work and then come home to watch some youtube videos before taking an early nap.

I am boring.

I'm sorry.
copynin: (intense)
 Today has been very strange. I started off with too little sleep and dropping the coffee pot and breaking it before I could get my cup. Then I was nearly late to work because it was so hard to get out of the house. And when I did get to work, I got put on self-checkout. Not too bad. I actually sorta like that. And it was busy, but not too terrible. The day was warmish and the sun was out and the day went by quickly, even if I was a little tired. I even got the chance to buy a new coffee maker (and some more much needed forks) for the house.

Only, I'm now broke until Thursday.

Okay. I can do this. I'll just have to be conservative on what I spend my money on. It's doable. Just not my favorite thing. I have plenty of games and things, so I don't have a reason to buy anything else. 

I dunno if I'm going to do anything that might be "productive", because I'm enjoying YouTube videos and chatting. And I have an MMO to try out. Yep. That's all for me today.
copynin: (sad)
Yesterday was strange and strained. I didn't really feel much of anything, but this new project that I've been working on has kept me both sane and busy. I've gotten pretty far along in such a short amount of time. Having days off to do it has helped to move it along, but it's also made me feel really alone.

I don't feel so upset that I'm crying all the time anymore, but I'm also just started to feel a little numb and disappointed at those who I've surrounded myself with. 

Although, I'll be honest, it's really made me see who actually cares about me as a person and not for what I can do for them.

Having the few people reach out to me, even if I didn't say anything at first, was sorta nice. Not that I want to repeat scaring them like that again. Not that I want to repeat scaring myself like that again.

So, I'm just working on the project, trying to chat to people if they're online and I have something to say that isn't terrible, listening to LPs by my favorite gamers on YouTube and playing Ace Attorney games. It's sort of relaxing, even if it's a little boring.
copynin: (sharigan)
 I keep rereading what I wrote last night. And, to be honest, all of it is true. As far as I know.

Except for one part. There are people that I trust. There are people that I love, trust and respect and one of them reminded me of that last night while I talked to them for hours. And while I cried while we talked, I feel oddly cleansed as well. 

I'm a flawed person, very flawed if I'm honest. But I love a lot of people. I love my friends, both online and in person. I love my family. I love even those who've hurt me. But love doesn't mean I have to sit for verbal and emotional assault when I'm having a rough time already.

I was told that I betrayed someone by having my panic attack. I betrayed and stabbed them in the back because I disappeared from the internet and didn't tell anyone and took my own step back to straighten myself out. All because I was supposed to do something for them. 

Did they contact me myself about this? No. No, they went to someone else and showed how terribly selfish and self-centered they are to get them to check on me so that I could spend my already limited energy and mental power on them. And then proceeded to act like they were the one who was hurt by me. Without even saying a damn thing to me until they attacked me.

This shit? Is. Unacceptable. Very. Unacceptable. I don't have to deal with this and I won't. If you have issues with me, come to me. Don't dump on my friends because you have no sense of what it is to feel for other people.

I'm so angry at this person right now that I cannot articulate myself properly. 

To the person that knows who I'm talking to, you are as selfish and self-centered as I told you. You only care about yourself. You talk over others and then don't understand why they can't feel they can talk to you about things that are happening to them and why they can't trust you? Perhaps you should take a looooooooooooooooooong look in the mirror and stop threatening to stab yourself every time something doesn't go your way. Grow up. You're not twelve. Your family situation sucks? Guess what? So does mine. So does a lot of people's. Perhaps you should spare about five seconds out of your day thinking about what it is that has made me not want to associate with you anymore. Maybe you should think about what happened to those "friends" you had before that won't talk to you. Maybe, just maybe, you could see that talking about this to someone who is also dealing with shit that you don't seem to have any sort of feelings other than what they can do for you is wrong.

But I seriously doubt you will. So, stay away from me. Stay away from me, my safe spaces and my friends. Please get some actual help from a professional. Take a step back from RP. Stop joining so many games because you have a hole in your life. Get a job. Get away from your terrible home life. DO SOMETHING FOR YOUR OWN SELF THAT MAKES A POSITIVE CHANGE INSTEAD OF WALLOWING IN THE FACT THAT EVERYTHING IS BAD BECAUSE YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING. You know what that makes you? A dramawhore and responsible for a lot of the bad things that happen to you because your priorities are very skewed in the wrong direction.

Just. Stay the fuck away from me. For MY health. We are done.
copynin: (Dog)
 And the reason is that I am deeply unhappy. So unhappy in fact that I'm basically sitting here in tears because I'm just so tired and sad and feeling so wrecked on the inside that I don't even know where to begin. I was told to write out what I feel, no matter how ugly and selfish and raw because it's better to get those feelings out.

So, here I am.

I confessed something to someone that I haven't talked about in a while in terms that were so raw and open that I feel like a huge chunk of my skin is gone and all is exposed for everyone's scorn and ridicule. Do I think that person will tell someone else? I... don't actually know. Who can I trust? Who do I trust? Do I even trust anyone anymore? The answers aren't so easy and I would really just love to live a world where they were.

I don't feel like I have any friends anymore.

And it's my fault.

Because I don't trust anymore.

Because I trusted too much, hoped too much, wanted too much.

Fuck this.

This sounds like the overly-emotional writing of a fourteen year old girl as she listens to My Chemical Romance. How pathetic just seeing these words make me feel.

But it's how I feel. Replaceable. Forgettable. Invisible. Useless. Worthless. Pathetic. Unneeded. Weak. Unloved. An utter failure as a friend, sister, daughter, lover, co-worker, employee.

I'm having trouble remembering something good about myself tonight. And if I'm honest with myself, (because why lie now?), it's felt this way for years. Everything I touch, I ruin.
copynin: (completely amused)
 It really has been a long time since I bothered to use any journal on DW or LJ or even IJ to actually talk about what's going on. I mostly rely on plurk, and that can backfire.

I think I'll try to use this more often.

Right now, I don't have much to say, except that I'm going to work on apps for Edna from ToZ and Sonia Nevermind from DR2 for Kiseki and RC respectfully. Just jamming to music and typing. This is my zone. I've missed it.
copynin: (bored)
Chapter 297 - Sai's Mission

Starts off with Hinata. It already  has my approval. Although, screen time would be nice. She looks so sweet and hopeful. And cute. Always cute.

Orochimaru, way to be suspicious. Since he came from Danzou, you're probably right to not trust him at all. Well, besides, he's Sai. Although, it was so smart of him not to go in himself and to send in an ink clone.

Poor Naruto though! He went through all of that and he's so beaten up. He should feel lucky that he has Yamato with him to keep him in line, to a certain degree.

Sakura, just because all you can do is heal Naruto doesn't mean that it's stupid. That's actually useful, you twit. Although, hitting him after healing him isn't cool.

Kabuto, trying to be all "protective" of Orochimaru after being a little traitor isn't cool. It makes you look like a tool. =P

copynin: (intense)
Chapter 296 A Sad Conclusion

First off, it starts with Shikamaru....It must be awesome. I <3 me some Shika.

Oi, hey, Kabuto, please insult Sakura's teammate while you stand within striking distance. Because that's smart. Moron. Although, healing Sakura was...unexpected.

Oh, Sakura, it's cute that you're worried about Naruto, but that was stupid! Seriously girl!

Way to make me not like you, Sai. Are you ever going to be useful instead of crap? Or creepy? Yeah, that would be just great.

copynin: (anbu)
Chapter 295 Becoming the Kyuubi

Naruto's scary attack looks cool, even if it's literally killer.

I think it's pretty telling that Sai ran as far as he could to hide from it though.

Reminds me of Goku's Kamehameha.

Those gates? Never seen those before. He didn't even use those against Sarutobi. Is he finally getting serious against Naruto? Somehow I doubt it.

Poor Yamato. He's got no opening to rein in Naruto.

But, ouch, that had to hurt even Oro. No wonder he struck back the way he did.

copynin: (completely amused)
Chapter 294 - Fourth Tail

So, Naruto's Fourth Tail form? Pretty cool. Sorry that I'm so behind in the manga. I feel silly now. I have been reading, but I'm just behind.

Orochimaru just strikes me as gross, even though he's so powerful. Is there anything that man won't swallow? Seriously. It makes me wonder just what his stomach looks like.

Kabuto, wow, way to be creepy, guy. Congrats.

Sai and Sakura: Screen time, hm?

Yamato, you're still cool, even if you haven't done much yet.

copynin: (Dog)
So, Orochimaru, while you were smart enough to have a bunch of Hashirama's DNA to make better control of Tobirama's jutsu, you're still a moron. How much of a chance do you think you have against the reincarnated Hashirama-sama? Oh, wait, and you have Hiruzen-sama and Minato-sama, who KNOWS his son and the Kyuubi are near.

Btw, Sasuke, your emo look and attitude, please change, mkay? Getting really tired of your whining.

Minato-sensei, you need more face time. That is all.

copynin: (resting)
Chapter 281 - the parting between Naruto and Gaara was so cute. I wanted to huggle them both!

The piggy-back scene between Kakashi and Gai.... I cannot scrub it out of my brain! DISTURBING. And I have to agree with Sakura. Oh, and Lee and Neji's banter? I about died laughing.

Sai.... Hm... I don't know what I think about him. Suspicious, I suppose.

Deidara beating up Tobi? I wish he *had* killed Tobi. So much else could have been avoided.
copynin: (i stole your ninjustu)
Chapter 280 - I loved the opening page, especially the little message about having a friend to understand your feelings and share your joys with. It was perfect for Gaara and Naruto.

And all those dumb girls talking about how cute and cool Gaara is.... WHERE WERE YOU BEFORE? HUH? Only Temari and Kankurou understood his coolness back then. Punks.

And, Naruto, you need to take the stupid chunin exam! You're the only one of your class that's still a genin. Hell, Neji is a JOUNIN. Naruto-no-baka. <3

Oh, but for him to realise so late what it was that he and Chiyo-sama were doing to bring Gaara back... A life for a life, Naruto-kun. Sorry, bebi. And I think I <3 Temari and Kakashi more for making Naruto realise that Chiyo-sama's sacrifice was so like Sandaime-sama's. Now he gets it!

And Gaara letting Naruto help him? So cute! And it was sweet that he told everyone to say a prayer for Chiyo-sama. That kid's doing things right!

Zetsu's creepy... That is all.

And now, Tobi's shown up. I don't like this.
copynin: (reading)
Chapter 279 - GAARA! It was just awesome that Naruto made Chiyo-sama use his chakra to bring Gaara back and so like him. And Gaara's face when he saw Naruto in that crossroads place he was in was freaking adorable. (And I don't use that word for Gaara, unless he's chibi...)

But, yes, I am excited to have Gaara back and that the rest of the Sand shinobi showed up to "save" him. He needed to know that he wasn't being rejected anymore. Oh, and Temari and Kankurou being *right there* better prove to that brat that they love him like a sibling.


copynin: (Default)
Hatake Kakashi

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